freedom list 



Today I am introducing the idea of a freedom list. (This post is also appearing on my life coaching site, I am delighted to also share these thoughts with the readers of!) I like gratitude lists, as my readers and friends know. Gratitude brings forth a sense of joy or peace especially in time periods when life seems gloomy and despair is near or here. When I was first in a 12-step program, the idea of a gratitude list was introduced to me. It became a yearly habit each October or November to put a blank piece of paper on the refrigerator. My young daughter, Megan, and I would write whatever either one of us was grateful for on any given day. Some items were funny, some poignant, some unusual, as well as the normal things people feel thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving, I would remove the list. After several years of gratitude lists, it was interesting to reread the recordings of our gratitude. Growth occurred. No matter what was occurring in our lives, there were always many items on the paper. Gratitude existed.

July 4th, Independence Day, always brings to mind my own independence. Thoughts of victims still in domestic violence relationships, incest, or other type of abusive situations weigh heavy on my mind also. My heart goes out to you. If you are still in a situation of trauma and abuse, please do your best to take care of yourself, and to hopefully extricate yourself from the abusive situation. Please seek guidance and help. Your freedom is so very important. Survivors are many and thriving is possible!

My freedom from the perpetrators (abusers), from the actual abuse and torture, and eventually freedom from the damage caused by the trauma has been a journey of healing and hope. Facing the truth has been liberating. Dealing with the PAIN and PROFOUND SADNESS was excruciating at times. I am extremely grateful for the strength within me as well as all the support I received on this road. As I write this, there is peace and joy within me. I survived! I survived the abuse and the difficult healing process! I thrive!

This June, I decided to make a personal freedom list. Every once in a while, I would be prompted from within to add an item or two. It made me smile. I am so much freer than in any other time in my life. Not only am I physically free from the abuse and mind control (brainwashing), but I am spiritually, mentally and emotionally free.

I, as a survivor who thrives and as a life coach, recommend you take a blank piece of paper and post it somewhere. Make sure you see the paper a few times a day. When the mood hits, write your own freedom list. Let it evolve. Do not force thoughts to appear. Keep it available for 30 days or so. Date it. Put it aside. Next year, next June or July, make a new freedom list. Once a year, glance at all the freedom lists you have written. Notice what is similar as well as the difference. Smile.

Today I want to share my first freedom list with you, my readers. The items are not in any order of importance. They came spontaneously and are from my heart. 


I have the freedom:

To smile

To be comfortable with my body

To feel all emotions from rage to joy. Numbness does not reign anymore!

To tell my story, to speak of the abuse and torture, to tell the secrets.

From defending myself and my past

To not share my story if I choose

To sleep

To show my happiness and pleasure knowing I will not be punished for it later.

To sit in peaceful solitude

From suicidal brainwashing (mind control) thoughts

To know my own worth as a human being with dignity

To show compassion and perform acts of kindnesses to others

To understand I am worth of love and I am lovable!

To know that feeling deep, intense PAIN means I can also feel deep, intense PEACE & JOY

To state my opinion

To make mistakes, to admit my mistakes, to learn from my mistakes, and to know I am just another human being who is not perfect.

To be an inspiration to others who may not believe they can endure another moment on this earth due to the PAIN they feel at any given moment in time

To glance back and see how far I have travelled on this road of freedom and peace

To know I have earned a place on this earth even though I know none of us need to earn a place on this earth!

To explore various spiritual paths

To look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge the courage and strength in me, especially the courage to become free of the abuse and face the past.

To acknowledge I would do it all over again – protecting my daughter, Megan Mulczynski, for as long as I could and the best I could.

To love myself compassionately

To see the beauty in my face

To know I did my best, especially as a protective parent even though the outcome was not beneficial to Megan nor I after we were discovered

To be friends with anyone I choose

To live where I desire

To sit in the sun with a deep sense of peace to witness life of all forms (human, animal) and see life’s preciousness.

To realize material goods (though necessary in our world) are so unimportant in the scheme of life

To savor moments of conversations with friends and others knowing life is not permanent.

To acknowledge my faults without shame

To laugh!

To write from my heart!

To give and receive hugs (when I choose)

To glance into someone’s eyes and, at times, sense a connection on a spiritual level.

To accept life as it was and as it is

To cry … to shed all the tears that need to be released

To open my heart for Love and Light!

To share my story with those who benefit from the telling

To be silent

To not judge

To let go of more and more pain

To be a peace with myself and who I am

To stand tall with integrity and authenticity

To swing in the park with child-like joy  freedom as a child

To experience profound gratitude

To love more freely and easily

To live life with less fear and apprehension

To open myself to life’s experiences

To more frequently be fully present in the moment. What a joy!

To sit in solitude with a contented heart!!

© 2016, Gail Mulczynski


This week I started a new blog as well as a new journey. Here is the link:

 will remain available; and, I will most likely add a post intermittently. This website is extremely near and dear to my heart. It was mostly written after my daughter, Megan Mulczynski, and I were found and as I awaited trial for custodial interference for attempting to protect my daughter from abuse perpetrated by her father. It amazes me that I was able to focus and write my story as clearly as I did considering the deep, heavy load of grief at the time. The fear for my daughter’s welfare and for my uncertain future combined with PTSD made it a very potent and nearly overwhelming situation.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

                                                                                                                                        – Lao-tzu

It reminds me that love can give us strength to endure what is almost not possible to endure. Survivors of any type of abuse can relate to that statement. We survive the actual abuse. We deal with the aftermath. Too many survivors lead lives of self-destruction or deadened emotional lives that appear normal enough because they are unable to fully cope and to heal. I hope that all survivors can find inner strength to discover their own worth and value. Self-love is needed, even in tiny amounts such as the size of a mustard seed, to regain health, authenticity, and genuineness. I hope you each find the courage and strength to look inside oneself … to one day awaken and find the true love within and outside of yourself!


© 2015, Gail Mulczynski